Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
