I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
