TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize