I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
kristin has been a bad kristin
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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