i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my sisters under your porch take her home
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
