In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He has the fingertips of a God
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