Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
