That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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