Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
