How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
