i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So much rum. So many feels.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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