K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
