Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Randomize
