So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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