they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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