stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
