I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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