A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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