So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
