we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
