Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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