it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
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