we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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