my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
