I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
