i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
