I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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