it hurts more in the daytime
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Who died my cat blue again?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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