I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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