glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
