oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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