Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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