dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
