Where did you get a picture of my penis
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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