Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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