I heard we made out
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
