you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
