dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
