I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
