I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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