we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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