D3 body, D1 cock
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
