So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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