Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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