Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize