Soap is not a condiment
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
