im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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