Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
