somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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