I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
