So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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