wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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