She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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