make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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