Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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