someone threw a dead crab at me
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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