We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
this hospital has no fireball
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
