STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
