i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
