Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
