I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
